It was February 25th of 2007, a Sunday. I attended the morning worship as usual and a visiting preacher gave a message on that day. Though I don't recall all the specifics of that message, one thing he mentioned about a little boy suffering from Down's Syndrome struck a chord in me. The preacher said that the boy during a sermon sat with his mouth wide open to the point that it was distracting the preacher. The preacher asked the boy why he would not close his mouth and the boy responded with gestures that he will answer at the end of the sermon. At the end of the sermon the preacher was curious to know the answer and asked why the child had his mouth so wide open all thru the sermon. The child responded that the preacher had started off the sermon with God's promise to Moses - the leader of the Israelites - who would stutter when speaking, "open your mouth wide and he would fill it." You see, God had called Moses to lead the Israelites from under the rule of the Pharoh in Egypt, but Moses kept dwelling on his shortcomings as to why he was not qualified for a task of such magnitude. The boy was doing his part by obeying God and waiting for God to do his part in him, for he could not speak properly.When it came to worship and prayer, I was the type who sort of sat in the back of the room and did not like to draw any attention on myself. I was afraid of my shortcomings, but I would quite often pray the same prayer as this child - Lord you promised if I open my mouth wide, you would fill it. If I showed a willingness for you, you will do the rest. Following this particular sermon, the church started worshiping and the power of the Holy Spirit started working upon folks. People were experiencing the power of God and speaking in tongues. I sincerely told God in my heart of my desire to be filled with the Holy Spirit and enjoy the same joy others seemed to have. I prayed the same prayer of the little boy, Lord I will open my mouth wide, will you fill me with your Holy Spirit and allow me to worship you without the feeling of embarrassment and shame? I prayed for the same power others seemed to be experiencing. When I asked God for his Spirit, a quiet conversation took place between me and God. My questions and his answers paraphrased the incident noted in Mathew 15:21-28, when a mother of a sick child approached Christ and his disciples for healing for her daughter. The following was my conversation as the worship continued:
Me: God, please let me have the same experience these church folks seem to be having.Answer: These blessings are food for my children and not for dogs.
Me: But God, even the dogs are permitted to live off the scraps of their master's table.
Immediately, the Holy Spirit (I realize this today as to who's prompting it was!) prompted me to raise my hand (something I would never do due to the embarrassment factor... not cool to do!) and I raised my hand. I cannot explain what happened next, but as following. The moment I raised my hand, a tremendous power, that I can only equate to electricity, coursed through my body - head to toe - and it took away any inhibition of worship that was in me. I started worshiping God at the top of my voice. I had never worshiped in that manner ever in my life up to that point. It was like being at Shea stadium back in the 1980s and Daryl Strawberry would come up to bat at the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs and two strikes, and hits one of his monstrous home runs... Shea would just erupt in to this thunderous shouts of cheer from thousands of crazed fans!!!!
I did not care where I was standing. I did not care who was watching me. I did not care how uncool I may have looked. I knew I was in the presence of a mighty force, and all I wanted to do was be soaked in it. I just wanted to praise and worship this awesome God. With tears flowing down my face, my heart pounding, I was exhausted, but filled with a strange peace and joy that I couldn't explain. I couldn't believe what was happening, but I thank the Lord that it happened in my life. In his mercy he found it worthy to feed this dog with not just the scraps that fell off the table of his children, but with the food he gave his children.
My cousin was visiting the church for the first time and was sitting right beside me during this event. He knew me well and knew about my sinful/worldly life. He and I have hung out in the past. He knew I smoked, I drank alcohol and did all that any normal (!!) young man would do. I turned to him when the worship ended and said, " Dude, I don't know what just happened to me. I don't know how to explain what just happened." His answer was "You don't have to explain anything. Somethings just can't be explained. There was an awesome charge around you. I thought you were going to fall down." I wondered if he thought that I had just lost my mind. But, I thank the Lord for that experience changed me and changed my life's direction a 180 degrees around.
Following this experience, my desire for cigarettes and alcohol left me. Things that I did to satisfy a lustful heart left me and a desire to read the Bible grew in me. Though smoking stopped overnight, a wholesome transformation was a process (that still continues to date) as I study the Bible. One other thing I would like to note here about my experience is that I had not prepared myself in any way for the power of the Lord to come into me. There was nothing special about me that day, but for the desire to experience the Lord and have him in my life. Just the day before this experience, I had lived a life that was just ordinary. I remember getting into an argument with my dad, saying hurtful things to him, and after he left I was remorseful for what I had said. I sat on our home's front stoop, lit a cigarette, smoked it, went inside and prayed to God for forgiveness for my hurtful words to my dad. The experience with God that I write here was the following day. I have heard preachers preach on how one has to be prepared to receive God into his or her life, about holiness. Though I don't disagree with them, my message to you is to COME AS YOU ARE TODAY, THIS MOMENT, FOR THE NEXT MOMENT/DAY DOES NOT BELONG TO US!
We will never understand God's grace until we experience it!
Some verses that have ministered to me are quoted below from the KJV Bible:
- Isaiah 1:2-3 - I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me. The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master's crib; but Israel doth not know, my people doth not consider.
- Isaiah 1:18-20 - Come now, let us reason together {he is a reasonable God} saith the Lord, though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If ye be willing {You have choice} and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land; but if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.
- Isaiah 59:1-2 - Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.
- Jeremiah 3:12-14 - Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the Lord, and I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity that thou has transgressed against the Lord thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the Lord. Turn, O backsliding children, saith the Lord; for I am married unto you.
- Ezekiel 36:25-28 - Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you and a new Spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk within my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgements and do them... Ye shall be my people and I will be your God.
- James 4:8 - Draw nigh unto God, and he will draw nigh unto you.
- Acts 16:30-34 - Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.
Amazing Grace by 7 yr old Rhema
Amazing Grace by Wintley Phipps
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